Mike Makes Jokes

The author continues to find new and increasingly elaborate ways to avoid working.

Personally, I support Arthur Q. Demoulas. #MarketBasket

July 23, 2014 at 10:26AM

An Auschwitz selfie is in terribly poor taste. Save that shit for Buchenwald.

"Should You Take that Selfie? A Guide for Teens." — Another teen has become an object of public ridicule, after making a dire selfie-related error in judgement. Teens, PLEASE make better selfie choices.

Guys! GUYS! Guys... dick-shaped smoke!

"Obama tells Netanyahu he has ‘serious concern’ about casualties - The Boston Globe" — GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip — President Barack Obama told Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Sunday that he had “serious concern” about the growing number of casualties on both sides in Gaza. In his second phone call with the Israeli leader in three days, Obama also told Netanyahu that Secretary of Stat…

http://onion.com/1kDIYQg

"BREAKING: Cavaliers Agree To Trade Andrew Wiggins, LeBron James For Kevin Love" — CLEVELAND—Following lengthy and protracted trade negotiations, the Cleveland Cavaliers announced Friday that the team has agreed to deal No. 1 draft pick Andrew Wiggins and four-time league MVP LeBron James to the Minnesota Timberwolves in exchange for power forward Kevin Love.

Wishing a very happy anniversary to two people that I don’t see nearly often enough, Megan Dubay Fleming and Sara Fleming!

July 18, 2014 at 10:20AM

The University of Oregon's public safety department officers are apparently not big fans of will.i.am. (For the record, they're 100% correct about Windows Vista.)

"Oregon Officers Are Under Fire For Making This Amazing List Of People Who Should ‘Eat A Bowl…" — A wrongful termination lawsuit filed against the University of Oregon by a fired public safety officer contains hilarious details.

Apropos of nothing, here’s Mr. Belding posing with the Bella Twins.

Bill Gates has released a video statement regarding the recently announced Microsoft layoffs. #NathanForYou

"Bill Gates Reacts to Microsoft Layoffs" — Cut the best of YouTube on http://viewrz.com

Regardless of the parties involved (not trying to take a position on the actual conflict at hand), the phrase "humanitarian pause" in a bombing campaign makes me laugh. As if some Gaza resident is gonna say, "They may have made me live for weeks on end in fear of being ripped apart by a bomb on a moment's notice, but remember how they stopped for a few hours in the middle of it? You know, before they resumed their campaign of raining fire from the sky and obliterating the only home I've ever known? That was downright neighborly of them. Humanitarian, even."

"News from The Associated Press" — GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip (AP) — The Israeli military agreed to a U.N.-brokered five-hour "humanitarian" pause starting Thursday in its strikes on the Gaza Strip to allow Palestinians to restock food, water and other necessities, hours after an attack by an Israeli naval vessel killed four Palestinian…

Be on the lookout for SEVERE DRY THUNDERSTORMS!

Be on the lookout for SEVERE DRY THUNDERSTORMS!

"Fancy" by Iggy Azalea has over 78 million plays on Spotify, but I’ve gotta think at least 20 million were from people like me trying to understand why this boring rap song became so popular in the first place.

July 15, 2014 at 09:07AM

Angela Merkel looks tense. Somebody should give her an unprompted shoulder rub. #GERvsARG

July 13, 2014 at 05:26PM

One downside to playing Assassin’s Creed IV so long after it came out: nobody at work will sing pirate shanties with me now.

July 13, 2014 at 04:28PM

One downside to playing Assassin’s Creed IV so long after it came out: nobody at work will sing pirate shanties with me.

July 13, 2014 at 04:26PM

King Kong Bundy: nip slip waiting to happen.