Mike Makes Jokes

The author continues to find new and increasingly elaborate ways to avoid working.

Don't think the first thing I noticed wasn't the dude in the Daniel Bryan shirt.

”” — If Latinos Said The Stuff White People Say

Who’s gonna be the one to tell the folks at Bud Light that their window to create a town “this summer” is basically over? #UpForWhatever

August 28, 2014 at 09:55PM

Although I did not know her well, I remember Mrs. Burnheimer as an irrepressibly positive and personable woman, and I'm terribly sorry to hear of her passing. My thoughts are with Ryan and his family today.

"Julie Page Burnheimer’s Obituary on Portland Press Herald/Maine Sunday Telegram" — Read the Obituary and view the Guest Book, leave condolences or send flowers. | Julie Page Burnheimer, 58 GORHAM — Julie Page Burnheimer, 58, passed away at her home in Gorham on Aug. 26, 2014, surrounded by her family after a yearlong battle with ovarian cancer. She was

Attention Marcie Fleming, Liz Davenny, Sara Fleming, Megan Dubay Fleming, Sarah Gilligan, and Beyoncé: your freeloading children have been challenged.

”” —

"Popcorn Sharers And Theater Masturbators." Nathan For You continues to be the best.

"Popcorn Sharers And Theater Masturbators." Nathan For You continues to be the best.

Just picture it: Jack Thwagger vs ThtarDutht this November at Thurvivor Theries! #LispBattle #WWE

August 18, 2014 at 09:54PM

"I loved you, Seth." Ambrose curb stomp. Mike dies happy. #SummerSlam

August 18, 2014 at 11:14AM

And this article was written BEFORE the Ferguson cops released a 16-page report and held a press conference just to let everybody know that the kid they killed had recently stolen a $50 package of cigarillos.

"When The Media Treats White Suspects And Killers Better Than Black Victims" — This pervasive and not-so-subtle media bias is right in front of your eyes….

VACATION SELFIE

Wait, Michael Brown was a shoplifter? This changes EVERYTHING! I HOPE THE COPS FIND A WAY TO BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE SO THEY CAN KILL HIM AGAIN!

"Officer who shot Michael Brown didn’t know Brown was a robbery suspect - The Boston Globe" — Police say Michael Brown and his friend, Dorian Johnson, took a box of cigars from a store in Ferguson the morning Brown was shot.

That police officer must be SUPER annoyed that THIS shooting of an unarmed black teenager happened to be the one that incites national protest. I mean, he just has the WORST luck. #Ferguson

August 14, 2014 at 09:41AM

Me: I’ll have the “Fit for You Glazed Salmon.” 99 Waitress: You do realize that’s a low-calorie entree, so it may not be enough to fill you up. Me: Fuck off and die.

August 13, 2014 at 06:23PM

Nathan For You is the best.