"If they wanted to be Americans, they should have thought to immigrate between 1607 and 1930."
"Should We Let Immigrant Children Who Crossed The U.S. Border Stay In America?" — The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
If a kid ever asks me, “Hey Mike, what was 1993 like?” I’m gonna show him this photo. #tbt
An Auschwitz selfie is in terribly poor taste. Save that shit for Buchenwald.
"Should You Take that Selfie? A Guide for Teens." — Another teen has become an object of public ridicule, after making a dire selfie-related error in judgement. Teens, PLEASE make better selfie choices.
Guys! GUYS! Guys... dick-shaped smoke!
"Obama tells Netanyahu he has ‘serious concern’ about casualties - The Boston Globe" — GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip — President Barack Obama told Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Sunday that he had “serious concern” about the growing number of casualties on both sides in Gaza. In his second phone call with the Israeli leader in three days, Obama also told Netanyahu that Secretary of Stat…
"BREAKING: Cavaliers Agree To Trade Andrew Wiggins, LeBron James For Kevin Love" — CLEVELAND—Following lengthy and protracted trade negotiations, the Cleveland Cavaliers announced Friday that the team has agreed to deal No. 1 draft pick Andrew Wiggins and four-time league MVP LeBron James to the Minnesota Timberwolves in exchange for power forward Kevin Love.
The University of Oregon's public safety department officers are apparently not big fans of will.i.am. (For the record, they're 100% correct about Windows Vista.)
"Oregon Officers Are Under Fire For Making This Amazing List Of People Who Should ‘Eat A Bowl…" — A wrongful termination lawsuit filed against the University of Oregon by a fired public safety officer contains hilarious details.