Mike Makes Jokes

The author continues to find new and increasingly elaborate ways to avoid working.


"Which Character From ‘The Office’ Are You?" — Take this quiz to find out!

Darrell Hammond is dating Neil Young??

September 12, 2014 at 11:39AM

This should be the final nail in Goodell's coffin, no?

"AP Source: Law enforcement official sent copy of Ray Rice tape to NFL executive in April" — ATLANTIC CITY, N.J.

The Onion nails it, as always.

"NFL Announces New Zero-Tolerance Policy On Videotaped Domestic Violence" — NEW YORK—Following public outcry over his mishandling of Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice’s aggravated assault of his then-fiancée, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced Tuesday that the league has adopted a new zero-tolerance …


"6 Predictions About The iPhone 6 That Were Way Off" — Apple fans rejoice! Today, CEO Tim Cook unveiled the company’s upcoming iPhone 6, and while we can’t wait to get in line for it.

BREAKING: Baltimore Ravens release preliminary sketch of planned statue for Ray Rice.

Judge Posner of the 7th Circuit, a notoriously conservative jurist (although perhaps it's more fair to describe him as "libertarian") referred to homosexuality as an "immutable characteristic" in overturning the same-sex marriage bans in Indiana and Wisconsin. PROGRESS!

"BREAKING: Appeals Court Scraps Gay Marriage Bans In Wisconsin, Indiana" — The 7th Circuit Court of Appeals on Thursday overturned same-sex marriage bans in Wisconsin and Indiana. It is the third appeals court to rule that state prohibitions on gay marriage violate the Constitution’s guarantee of equal protection.

Not to be outdone, the Bills have announced plans to unveil an O.J. Simpson statue outside of Ralph Wilson Stadium.

"Baltimore Ravens unveil Ray Lewis statue" — It comes with fire.

Ah, crap. RIP Joan Rivers.

September 04, 2014 at 02:59PM


"Fox apologizes for poorly timed Sleepy Hollow ads about beheading" — Fox Home Entertainment and PR firm Thinkjam have issued apologies for the timing of an ad campaign promoting the DVD release of the first season of Sleepy Hollow. The ads—which focused on the fun, silly, lighthearted side of people having their heads cut off—were unfortunately deployed on the same d

"Big Brother: After Dark" has closed captioning. Which means someone’s not only transcribing this drunken babbling, but doing so IN REAL TIME.

September 03, 2014 at 12:28AM

Don't think the first thing I noticed wasn't the dude in the Daniel Bryan shirt.

”” — If Latinos Said The Stuff White People Say

Who’s gonna be the one to tell the folks at Bud Light that their window to create a town “this summer” is basically over? #UpForWhatever

August 28, 2014 at 09:55PM

Although I did not know her well, I remember Mrs. Burnheimer as an irrepressibly positive and personable woman, and I'm terribly sorry to hear of her passing. My thoughts are with Ryan and his family today.

"Julie Page Burnheimer’s Obituary on Portland Press Herald/Maine Sunday Telegram" — Read the Obituary and view the Guest Book, leave condolences or send flowers. | Julie Page Burnheimer, 58 GORHAM — Julie Page Burnheimer, 58, passed away at her home in Gorham on Aug. 26, 2014, surrounded by her family after a yearlong battle with ovarian cancer. She was

Attention Marcie Fleming, Liz Davenny, Sara Fleming, Megan Dubay Fleming, Sarah Gilligan, and Beyoncé: your freeloading children have been challenged.

”” —