Mike Makes Jokes

The author continues to find new and increasingly elaborate ways to avoid working.

"Popcorn Sharers And Theater Masturbators." Nathan For You continues to be the best.

"Popcorn Sharers And Theater Masturbators." Nathan For You continues to be the best.

Just picture it: Jack Thwagger vs ThtarDutht this November at Thurvivor Theries! #LispBattle #WWE

August 18, 2014 at 09:54PM

"I loved you, Seth." Ambrose curb stomp. Mike dies happy. #SummerSlam

August 18, 2014 at 11:14AM

And this article was written BEFORE the Ferguson cops released a 16-page report and held a press conference just to let everybody know that the kid they killed had recently stolen a $50 package of cigarillos.

"When The Media Treats White Suspects And Killers Better Than Black Victims" — This pervasive and not-so-subtle media bias is right in front of your eyes….

VACATION SELFIE

Wait, Michael Brown was a shoplifter? This changes EVERYTHING! I HOPE THE COPS FIND A WAY TO BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE SO THEY CAN KILL HIM AGAIN!

"Officer who shot Michael Brown didn’t know Brown was a robbery suspect - The Boston Globe" — Police say Michael Brown and his friend, Dorian Johnson, took a box of cigars from a store in Ferguson the morning Brown was shot.

That police officer must be SUPER annoyed that THIS shooting of an unarmed black teenager happened to be the one that incites national protest. I mean, he just has the WORST luck. #Ferguson

August 14, 2014 at 09:41AM

Me: I’ll have the “Fit for You Glazed Salmon.” 99 Waitress: You do realize that’s a low-calorie entree, so it may not be enough to fill you up. Me: Fuck off and die.

August 13, 2014 at 06:23PM

Nathan For You is the best.

No words can capture the deep sadness I feel at the passing of Robin Williams. I am numb.

August 11, 2014 at 09:12PM

ATTENTION. The Men’s bathroom SMELLS. LIKE. CUPCAKES.

August 09, 2014 at 04:15PM

"What the fuck is that?" - Random woman while pointing at my "Bluth’s Famous Frozen Banana" t-shirt

August 09, 2014 at 01:45PM

Criminal lawyers, help me out. If Hinckley has already been acquitted of the attempted murder of James Brady (I'm assuming this was one of the litany of charges he faced) due to insanity, can he now be tried again for murder thirty years later? Is it not double jeopardy to try someone successively for two crimes arising from the same act?

"James Brady’s death ruled homicide by D.C. medical examiner" — There was no immediate word on whether the shooter, John W. Hinckley, could face new criminal charges.

YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!

August 05, 2014 at 09:27AM